


No Surprises

by forestofsecrets



Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: Accusations of Food Stealing, And Other Petty Complaints, Comedy, Complaining on Live TV, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-09-07 20:01:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20315200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forestofsecrets/pseuds/forestofsecrets
Summary: STARISH has a live interview. The host goes off script and the idols turn a simple question into a squabbling match over petty vices of the other members.





	No Surprises

**Author's Note:**

> I just thought this would be a funny idea to write. The complaints might seem mundane but that was the purpose. They're just little, everyday things that slowly snowball over time. 
> 
> I want to focus on other stories but I keep getting these ideas. I have like 4 more that I want to get out of the way before I can get to the other stuff I want to write. Such is life.
> 
> Made on 07/17/2019 - 08/18/2019.

It was common knowledge that most of the stuff on TV was scripted. Even the shows with unscripted slapped across the face of them. Under this category of preplanned television, there were, of course, talk shows. Questions were exchanged beforehand and answers prepared.

All so there would be no surprises.

That being said, hosts would always try to plan some sort of surprise. Just to get a genuine reaction. 

The idols of STARISH were dressed formally, but not overly so. Shirts with collars and coloured ties but no coats or jackets. They had all done dozens of these shows, albeit not all together like this, so there wasn’t a single member who didn’t know what to do.

Play the crowd. Smile. Make a few jokes. Promote themselves.

There were always the usual questions after the usual pleasantries. They introduced their upcoming plays, dramas, shows, movies, songs, and promotions. Then, came the second wave of questions, a little more personal.

“Is there anything that you want to tell your fans? Maybe something that hasn’t been revealed before about each other?”

Internally Tokiya frowned. That question wasn’t on the list. A subtle glance at Otoya delivered the message he wanted without ever opening his mouth; _you handle it._

The redhead was often the one the group turned to when they needed to improvise. Even if it was just a sentence, a start. Cecil chimed in before too long and the duo managed to cover whatever was needed, giving the rest of them time to think.

However, their host didn’t let go of the question that easily. “How about a secret about another member then?”

“A secret? Hmm…” Otoya lead the host on. “We’ve been together for a while now. There aren’t too many secrets left!”

The host laughed. “But surely you know one?”

Scratching the back of his head, Otoya laughed as well. It wasn’t forced or nervous but it wasn’t the usual laughter the group heard from him either. “Can’t get off that easy, huh? Well, there is one that may catch your interest.” He let the suspense build for a few seconds. “It’s about Tokiya.”

That caught Tokiya’s own attention. Otoya met his eyes for a split second, flashing.

Then, the revelation: “Tokiya reads in the bath.”

There was silence, then the host raised their microphone. “That is a secret?” A look at Otoya and then a look at Tokiya. Seemingly in confusion. Tokiya, himself, also shared that sentiment. That wasn’t exactly a secret but he didn’t really want the world to know it either.

“Well,” the redhead stretched the word out childishly, “I guess it isn’t really much of a secret. But he takes so long in the bathroom.” Otoya was whining now, listening to how the crowd was starting to respond.

Did he really want Tokiya to reply to this? “I take my time to relax in the bath. It’s common that a book follows me in there.” 

The host more than likely had a variety of follow up questions but they never had a chance to ask as Masato spoke up.

“Speaking of taking a long time in the bathroom,” he began and every single member of STARISH could tell where he was going to take this, “Jinguji, you can relate to this. Though, I know for a fact that you don’t read in there.”

Tokiya tried to contain his sigh. He didn’t know what Ren did but it was rare for Masato to be so direct. Whatever it was, it must have been major. 

The blond took his time replying, instead opting to look in the camera and blow some kisses. “I take my time getting ready in the morning for all the lovely ladies. Is that such a crime?” A wink was sent Masato’s own way when Ren turned his head back.

A natural break in the conversation had the host trying to regain control. “Being a model as well as an idol, you must take great pride in your appearance. I am sure those few extra minutes make all the difference.” The live audience let out a few cheers and yells, drowning out Masato’s claim that it was just a little longer than a few easy minutes.

Ren laughed along, spurred on by the audience. “You bet it does. Now, how about I share a little secret about another member?” Without waiting for a go ahead or a no go from the host, he continued regardless. “Hijirikawa is a bit of a clean freak. While it can be nice, he tends to put things away and no one can ever find them again.” 

Another round of live laughter. This supposed secret also set off several light bulbs from the idols.

Cecil was first. “Like my headphones. I was lucky that I discovered them before I bought another pair.”

Then Otoya. “And my soccer gloves. Man, I was looking everywhere for like a week!”

And Natsuki. “And my extra set of glasses! They’re the only extras that I have so I was glad that they turned up.” While he looked happy about this, another blond in the group did not.

“Yeah, turned up after five hours.” Syo’s grumbling sent a chill through six of the seven idols as they recalled the events of _that_ day.

The tallest member was the only one unaffected. “But they did turn up.” He remained cheerful, assuring Masato that no harm was done. “Is it my turn now? I have a secret about Syo-chan!” Natsuki’s choice of who to share some dirt on was no surprise to anyone. “He never packs his own toothpaste when we’re away on a shoot. He says mine is good enough so we usually share.”

The host was long forgotten at this point. Anything they could have said was ignored in favour of Syo’s gawking. But the crowd loved it so the cameras kept rolling.

“Mine ran out and using yours is just easier until I replace it.” Syo was showing his stubborn side, a little bit acting and a lot of himself coming through. “If you wanna know a secret about Natsuki then it’s true that he manages to eat all the meat at game watching parties and he left me without even a single piece.”

“No one asked about that though…” Cecil tried to interject. 

Natsuki added on. “And it was only once! You and Otoya-kun were too busy watching soccer to eat until after the game was already half over.” Which was also true. Tokiya passed on all meat and Masato politely refused so the burden was on Natsuki to eat it while it was hot. Given, he had also cooked it up but there was no way that had anything to do with it, right? “Oh! Wasn’t that also the game that made Otoya—”

Frantic hand motions managed to grab Natsuki, as well as everyone else’s, attention. Otoya’s mouth twitched up into an awkward smile. His habit of letting nervous laughter take him over was already showing. “T-there’s no need to talk about that! Everyone loses bets sometimes!” 

As if sensing a scoop, the host entered the conversation. “Oh?” They made a surprised face right at their audience. “What did this bet entail?” 

The sweat was starting to show on Otoya’s face, a dangerous threat to those that were in the know. No one had thought to use waterproof makeup on him before the interview. But he was the one that the camera was trained in on, leaving him no escape. “It was just, just over which team would win. I lost so there was a small punishment. B-but never mind that! Does anyone else have anything that they want to say?”

It was a desperate call for help, actually admitting what the punishment happened to be was out of the question. 

“It’s not just meat either.” It was clear was Syo was still on his tirade from earlier. “Milk! Of all things. Milk has been disappearing. I drink at least four glasses a day so I have a pretty good stock of our milk inventory and sometimes it’s just all gone.” If there was a table in front of Syo, there was no doubt he would have slammed his fist down with authority. “We are settling this right now.”

Whatever purpose this interview initially had has been officially thrown out. Now its sole purpose was for Syo to shame those who have taken his food.

A cough from Cecil had heads turning. “I didn’t know it would have such an effect.”

“But why? Why take all the milk?” The blond was speaking as if his world was ending, which it may if he didn’t grow any taller. 

Cecil shrugged. “Shall we call it a calling from a past life?” It wasn’t a very good explanation but it was all Cecil’s got. It had Syo squinting hard, mouth already opening to give a rebuttal. It gave Tokiya a bad feeling. The short blond was known to be rash, especially when his height was involved. Surely, he hadn’t forgotten where they were.

“Dude.”

Yup, he forgot. God help them now. Tokiya knew what was coming next. Endless apologies. Apology letters. May as well tell Masato to grind them all up some ink. They’ll be writing for days.

“What the f—”

Fortunately, so did Natsuki. And that blond was louder.

“Otoya-kun doesn’t wear socks!”

Natsuki’s sudden shout was deafening. He looked pleased with himself, the cat that got the canary. Or in this case, the man that saved all of their idol careers. Cats preferred milk, after all.

He repeated his words, softer this time. “Otoya-kun doesn’t wear socks.” The shock still hadn’t worn off and Otoya realized he was thrust back into the spotlight.

Saying anything was better than saying nothing so the redhead blabbed. “Well that’s cause Tokiya told me— Waah!” 

There were zero ways any ending to that sentence would be good for Tokiya. So, he took matters into his own hands. Reaching over, he swiped a thumb over Otoya’s eyebrow. Or, where his eyebrow should have been. The previous sweat combined with a delicate makeup job had the drawn-in eyebrow smudge right off.

With Otoya’s shrieking in the background, Tokiya whipped back to his seat, gaze going right back to their host.

“I believe we have run over our time.” He managed in his best idol voice. “It was a pleasure talking with you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Masa is referencing another one of my stories where he had to fight Ren for the bathroom.
> 
> Just a confirmation but Otoya's punishment was that he had to shave off one eyebrow. Masa had to draw it in before the interview. They thought it would be fine but then Tokiya turned traitor when Otoya was going to out his uhhhhh anyways.


End file.
